63. Goodbye, Mrs. Slocombe
The
staff welcome Mrs. Slocombe back from sick leave. -- 20.3Kb
Trying
to find out why Mrs. Slocombe was in the hospital. -- 20.5Kb
 |
"She'll be gone by the end of the week." "What do you mean? All she had was an ingrowing toenail." -- 20.7Kb |
"I
feel like a hunter, stalkin' its prey." -- 18.8Kb
"You've
just been made redundant." -- 21.5Kb
"Say
it's not me." -- 20.8Kb
"Never
underestimate the woman." -- 17.0Kb
"It's
the Dolly Parton look. They call it the '9 to 5'." -- 26.0Kb
Mrs.
Slocombe takes a job in housekeeping. -- 24.9Kb
Miss
Featherstone's fur coat gets ruined. -- 24.2Kb
"I
can see it's going to be one of those days." -- 18.1Kb
Mrs.
Slocombe becomes a window-washer. -- 20.7Kb
The
staff notice Mrs. Slocombe outside the window. -- 20.6Kb
"Sorry,
mate, but you shouldn't have opened the window." -- 22.6Kb
"May
I remind you, Miss Featherstone, that I have the last say on this floor?"
-- 20.8Kb
 |
"Fancy accusing a senior floorwalker." "Yeah, ridiculous. By the way...good shot." "I thought so, too...whoever did it." -- 24.7Kb |
"She
gets all worked up and then all her veins in her neck stand up like blue
spaghetti." -- 18.6Kb
 |
"Captain Peacock, do you think I could have a couple of hours off this afternoon, say, for a dental appointment?" "I think I could write a chit to that effect, yes." -- 19.6Kb |
"Is
a no steak! I cannot recommend the rhubarb, and the toad has jumped out of
the hole." -- 19.9K
"Good
afternoon, Madam. May I help you?" "You certainly can, you
handsome man." -- 21.8Kb
Mr.
Humphries gives Miss Featherstone a bad time. -- 23.6kb
"You
shall never see my face in this store again." -- 23.5Kb
"Gents'
Ready-Made, Ladies' Department. Going up, mind the doors." -- 20.1Kb
64. Grounds For Divorce
"Don't
just stand there gaping--get back to your counters." -- 24.2Kb
"I
can't talk now." -- 24.2Kb
"Well,
where is the customer?" "They've gone home to think about
it." -- 20.2Kb
 |
"If you continue to get up my nose, I shall be forced to mention the number of days you leave early by the back entrance." -- 19.7Kb |
 |
"I may seem a good-natured person, but I must warn you that I am capable of blowing my top!" -- 20.1Kb |
"No,
do not come down here!" -- 23.9Kb
Captain
Peacock gets a thrill in the lift... -- 17.1Kb
...which
elicits some reactions from the staff. -- 19.8Kb
28.1Kb
"It's
like 'Dallas!'" -- 18.3Kb
"I'll
just put some buns on me ears." -- 18.2Kb
"Excuse
me--I only said he was very popular. I don't know him as well as
that." -- 24.9Kb
Brahms
gets even for Mrs. Slocombe. -- 21.8Kb
"Well,
usually when I kiss people goodnight, I've got my handbag over my right arm...
-- 21.1Kb
"...so
I hang my umbrella on it, and I...." -- 19.2Kb
"Isn't
one at a time enough?" -- 20.2Kb
Trying
to sell glasses. -- 26.0Kb
"He's
right, you know; take 'em off, you look ridiculous." -- 24.5Kb
"A
bit see-through, isn't it?" -- 23.9Kb
"I
wonder what he wants with that lot?" -- 25.9Kb
"I
must say, you look wonderful!" "Thank you, my dear--and
so do you." -- 27.9Kb
"Have
I missed something?" -- 19.6Kb
65. The Hold-Up
"We're
being robbed!" -- 23.3Kb
"I
told ya they was big." -- 25.6Kb
"Not
the sort of gentlemen you could reason with." -- 20.6Kb
"I
don't have to give you anything other than my name and number!" -- 21.9Kb
 |
"Oh, if only I'd gone in her place! I'd have put up a real fight--for quite a long time." -- 19.0Kb |
"This
is the police! Come out with your hands up!" -- 18.7Kb
"The
police'll come and you'll be nicked!" -- 18.8Kb
"Me
legs have gone on strike again!" -- 19.0Kb
"We
disguise ourselves as the villains and take over." -- 23.2Kb
"Come
down and see me sometime." -- 20.5Kb
"Okay,
Tony, you can come in now." -- 18.9Kb
"Hold-a
me back, before I give 'em whatta for!" -- 24.7Kb
"They
do have rumors in the underworld." -- 19.4Kb
"I
won't forget this poor practical joke!" -- 19.7Kb
"You
no-a speak-a to my papa like-a that!" -- 20.6Kb
"Whatta
you know--he had a false legs!" -- 22.3Kb
Miss
Brahms gives Mr. Humphries a kiss for good luck. -- 17.1Kb
"Looks
like some kind of ice-cream seller." -- 18.4Kb
66. Gambling Fever
"There
is very little between those two." -- 20.9Kb
"The
heat from his exhaust nearly melted my tooty-fruities." -- 21.9Kb
"I
pawned my watch, my studs...even my medals." -- 18.1Kb
"We've
lost our bonus and all that money was going to go onto the next race." --
18.1Kb
"It's
'Holiday Queen'." -- 24.5Kb
'Inside
Leg' wins the race. -- 24.7Kb
"We
won!" -- 20.8Kb
67. The Night Club
"You're
not goin' home like that, are you?" -- 20.4Kb
"I
fill in for her every now and again." -- 21.5Kb
"And
when do you take your exam to go into the zoo?" -- 18.2Kb
"We'll
start with Captain Peacock, playing the piano." -- 20.4Kb
"Good
evening, sir, madam. May I take your horder?" -- 16.0Kb
"I've
got a boyfriend built like a brick chickenhouse." -- 19.4Kb
"I
thought you were going to wear something simple." -- 23.6Kb
"If
you think you're so much better, then perhaps you'd better play." -- 19.1Kb
"...and
little man, little Lola wants you." -- 23.1Kb
"Here's
the alternative." -- 22.6Kb
"Blimey!
That's more like it!" -- 20.4Kb
"Just
go back and stand over there, and try not to multiply." -- 20.9Kb
"Why
don't you prop her up a bit?" -- 24.0Kb
"Not
yet!" -- 19.5Kb
"They're
takin' their clothes off!" -- 16.4Kb
"How
would you and Miss Brahms like to pop out for some sweets?" -- 16.0Kb
The
movie wasn't what anyone had expected. -- 17.6Kb
19.3Kb
"I'll
take everything down when you decide what you want." -- 22.4Kb
"I'd
like a bit of both, but...." -- 17.9Kb
 |
"I shall be performing 'Night and Day' on the piano. And by the way, my name is Stephen Peacock." "Oh my God!" -- 23.0Kb |
"All
things bright and beautiful...." -- 19.9Kb
68. Friends and Neighbours
"Oh!
Good morning, Mr. Rumbold!" -- 20.4Kb
"Are
you sure you was peddlin' the whole way?" -- 26.4Kb
"Would
you like my pump up your proboscis?" -- 21.5Kb
Mr.
Humphries skateboarded to work. -- 21.0Kb
"I
hang onto the backs of buses as much as I can." -- 20.4Kb
"I
was just bending down to tighten my nuts...." -- 20.0Kb
 |
"My mother, who is not a young woman, has had to take up babysitting to supplement her income." -- 23.5Kb |
"He's
given me the sack for bein' a troublemaker." -- 19.0Kb
"I'm
not sharin' with her." "I don't think that's what she had
in mind." -- 22.3Kb
 |
"I guess Mr. Grace used to ring for his secretary when he wanted something taken down in a hurry." -- 16.8Kb |
"Don't
you start--I've got a very short fuse." -- 16.6Kb
Trying
to ward off the odor of curry from downstairs. -- 20.4Kb
"We'll
have a nice cup of tea. Would you like a bean bag?" -- 22.4Kb
"I
prefer Tetley's." -- 17.9Kb
"Are
they going to make that noise all night?" "I hope
not." -- 16.4Kb
"Come
sit next to me, Mr. Humphries, and give me a baby." -- 23.2Kb
"I
only came in for a cup of tea." -- 15.5Kb
"He's
just been to the loo." -- 17.9Kb
"People
should not be allowed to have babies up here!" -- 19.8Kb
"Get
on the bed and hold your breath." -- 19.8Kb
Peacock
is recruited into helping Humphries baby-sit. -- 20.5Kb
"That's
not roses--that's burning cods' heads!" -- 20.4Kb
"Sweetest
little fellow, everybody knows...." -- 20.4Kb
69. The Pop Star
"If
it's all right with you, I'd like to drop my trousers and display my
Y-fronts." -- 21.8Kb
"It's
all right, Mr. Humphries. I know when I'm not wanted." -- 19.5Kb
"But
it's me...Bert Spooner!" -- 17.0Kb
"Ooh,
it's so nice to have you back!" -- 21.2Kb
"You
could have any girl you wanted." "Would that include you, Miss
Brahms?" -- 20.8Kb
The
staff demonstrate their talents over the phone." -- 22.4Kb
Mr.
Spooner takes more medicine for his throat. -- 21.4Kb
The
admiring housekeeping staff isn't being very helpful. -- 23.2Kb
"Do
you really like me?" -- 17.6Kb
Letting
the cleaning staff know where to go. -- 22.1Kb
"They've
even fixed up for us to be on the 'Around London' programme tonight at
6:00." -- 20.2Kb
Posing
for the photo in Mr. Rumbold's office. -- 17.4Kb
 |
"I can't hold this expression much longer." "Could you hurry up, please? I'm running out of sincerity." -- 19.5Kb |
"It's
stuck!" -- 19.4Kb
"Get
this flamin' thing off me head!" -- 21.3Kb
The
backing group in full regalia. -- 23.8Kb
The
big performance. -- 19.9Kb
Spooner
loses his voice. -- 15.8Kb
"Chanson
d'Amour" at double-time. -- 20.7Kb
"It's
just not my day." -- 17.6Kb
The
very last scene of "Are You Being Served?".
