28. Mrs. Slocombe Expects

"I don't know, but if you've got one, I'll have it." -- 20.9 Kb

"Look at that poor, handsome, young assistant. I’ll bet he’s fair worn out with getting’ up early and standin’ in the frozen snow. I bet he hasn’t had a proper breakfast except for a cup of coffee in a miserable paper cup. We must all buy something from him, so he could afford a proper lunch, then he’ll have the strength to struggle home, fall exhausted into bed, and get up early in the mornin’ and start the whole  process all over again." -- 20.3Kb

"Now that I've gotten over the shock, I'm quite looking forward to it." -- 21.2 Kb

"The funny thing is, it doesn't show." -- 23.4 Kb

"You say you don't know who the father is?"  "Well, yes and no." -- 22.1 Kb

"Will it be at home?"  "Either there or in the fitting room." -- 21.1 Kb

After Mr. Grainger went home to catch the Burmese bus-conductor. -- 18.0 Kb

'Her Ladyship' Miss Brahms attempts to sway some customers. -- 24.6Kb

"The face eludes me, but I recognize the walk." -- 24.7Kb

"Oh!  I'm glad you did that.  I was running out of oxygen." -- 21.8Kb

"We haven't got a customer yet, Mr. Humphries!" -- 24.2Kb

"I wish I could afford that." -- 18.5Kb

"And the same for my friend here." -- 20.2 Kb

"Oh, I don't think I could afford that." -- 20.5Kb

"Woof!  Woof!" -- 28.7Kb

"Your pajama case has just given birth to six kittens." -- 23.0Kb

29. A Change is as Good as a Rest

"When it comes to action, he's all talk." -- 23.7Kb

"Replacement?!" -- 16.8Kb

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear." -- 17.4Kb

"We always de-bag the juniors on their first day." -- 20.0Kb

"Oh dear, that's upset Roger." -- 22.6Kb

"Who is it?"  "Peter Pan!" -- 24.3Kb

Captain Peacock in the Wendy house. -- 17.0Kb

"It's a whimsical novelty, Peacock."  "Very whimsical, sir." -- 18.9Kb

30. Founder's Day

"Mr. Grace, this is your department." -- 15.5Kb

"Thank you, Mr. Grainger." -- 18.6Kb

"No, Mr. Grace, it's the voice of Shirley Brahms." -- 14.8Kb

"Mr. Grace cuddled her for a half an hour while I shouted for help." -- 20.3Kb

"Oh, Mother, don't go on." -- 17.4Kb

"You didn't!" -- 19.9Kb

"She did." -- 13.5Kb

31. The Old Order Changes

"On Wednesday last, I twice reprimanded you...." -- 20.3Kb

"It is my experience after 30 years in the distributive trade, that customers place more trust in an honest prune than in someone desperately trying to look like Donny Osmond!" -- 15.8Kb

"Dick." -- 18.7Kb

"I must say you both have made a marvelous effort." --  21.9Kb

"You asked for it, and you've got it!" -- 23.5Kb

"And a double helping, too, if I may say so!" -- 18.4Kb

Claybourne makes his entrance. -- 19.5 Kb

"What are you talking about?  I haven't been home since last night." -- 24.2Kb

"Wish me luck, Dick."  "Hit 'im with the tape, Clay!"  -- 24.7Kb 

32. Takeover

"I do empty the wastebaskets for Mr. Grace." -- 18.2Kb

"This is absolutely top-secret." -- 23.4Kb

"Last night, I was summoned to a meeting at boardroom level...." -- 17.1Kb

"I know what it is--we're gonna declare war on Marshall & Snellgroves." -- 20.2Kb

Humphries attempts to be a one-legged tap dancer. -- 23.8Kb

"The whole future of Grace Brothers is at stake!" -- 22.0Kb

"I shall just go--and you'll jump to it like you've never jumped before." -- 22.6Kb

"One more insult from that man and these clothes are coming off!"  "Don't start distracting me now, I'm very busy." -- 30.2Kb

"Oh, ya-har-har." -- 22.2Kb

"We came from Monte Carlo before you could say nay." -- 22.4Kb

"I put the regulo on number nine, I bent down to light the pilot light, and poof!" -- 20.8Kb

"Dinner is served!" -- 22.9Kb

"My souffle's got out of control!" -- 21.7Kb

"If he doesn't hurry up, my bomb surprise is doomed." -- 20.7Kb

33. Goodbye, Mr. Grainger

"You're my junior, so you can damned well take them." -- 28.4Kb

"Don't you answer me back or you'll get my dander up." -- 19.5Kb

Mr. Grainger stomps on Rumbold's note. -- 25.8Kb

"I'm very sorry that I was so rude and unpleasant." -- 20.0Kb

"Oh, it's too much--I'm all overcome." -- 18.8Kb

"Is there a fifth?" -- 17.3Kb

"As soon as I got the words out, the blood drained away from me." -- 22.2Kb

"...having given the best years of my life to your store, regretfully have to tell you that you're a miserable old boot." -- 25.0Kb

"...and Mrs. Slocombe is a frustrated old cow." -- 19.1Kb

Humphries gets rid of Mr. Grainger's letter. -- 25.4Kb

34. It Pays to Advertise

"Stop him, Captain Peacock!  I will not have rough workmen's hands inside my bra!" -- 20.7Kb

"Do be careful what you're doing with your right hand--you're making my eyes water." -- 18.8Kb

"I shall smack your wrist if you don't stop interfering with me." -- 19.0Kb

"Now just relax--this won't take a moment." -- 20.5Kb

Humphries decapitates the model. -- 18.6Kb

Pretending to be the mannequin. -- 22.4Kb

"Strip him off." -- 18.6Kb

Preparing to film the commercial. -- 28.2Kb

"Ooh!  Ooh!  It's dropped down!" -- 22.5Kb

"Your face seems very familiar." -- 19.3Kb

The director, Mr. W.C. Humphries. -- 25.0Kb

"I'm dressed from top to bottom at Grace Brothers." -- 23.9Kb

"We'll have a bubbly champagne toast...." -- 18.1Kb

"Well, you're the boss, Mr. Grace." -- 18.2Kb