Season Eight Images

49. Is It Catching?

Mrs. Slocombe demonstrates that she can sell women's shoes.... -- 19.9Kb

19.3Kb

Captain Peacock squares off against the Canteen Manageress. -- 20.4Kb

"Who put your front up?" -- 16.7Kb

Musical chairs in the canteen. -- 20.4Kb

Humphries came in late.... -- 18.8Kb

"She could open the Times, sit on it, and read two pages at once." -- 15.9Kb

"I think I shall have to sit down. Mr. Spooner, would you mind helping me to that chair? -- 19.6Kb

Humphries feels faint... -- 20.2Kb

...and soon passes out. -- 20.4Kb

The first stage of Marine's Disease. -- 13.9Kb

"I can't find his pulse." -- 16.8Kb

"Just a few elementary precautions." -- 18.8Kb

"I should have kept me hands off those 'winkles last night." -- 15.4Kb

Humphries and Slocombe test out the waterbed. -- 20.3Kb

"Mrs. Slocombe, where's your foot?" -- 21.2Kb

"Haaaaaa...you'll have to move it, Mrs. Slocombe." -- 17.4Kb

"We've got another problem--I can feel stage two comin' on." -- 22.1Kb

50. A Personal Problem

"Madam has an aura what is purple with white stripes." -- 16.3Kb

Humphries is accosted by a violin-toting beggar. -- 19.7kb

16.6Kb

"According to her, their marriage is a bit...like that." -- 17.9Kb

"I don't mind sayin' this to you, Mr. Humphries, but men can be beasts." -- 16.7Kb

"Why don't you mind sayin' it to me?" -- 15.0Kb

"Do you want to hear the latest in the Peacock saga?" -- 16.8Kb

Mr. Harmon thinks he knows with whom Mrs. Peacock is having an affair. -- 15.7Kb

"Oh, we can't leave him alone." -- 16.8Kb

"I think what Captain Peacock is referring to is the hmmmmm, when the lemange went hmmmmt..." --20.9Kb

"...and he got his, uh, and hmmmmm--she found it on his hanky." -- 16.3Kb

"Is she going through this bizarre charade just to make me jealous, or is she actually attracted to that bald-headed, jug-eared twit?" -- 15.0Kb

"My God! He's hummin' while he's doin' it!" -- 18.9Kb

"I need more rope!" -- 17.0Kb

"It's really jammed now." "You idiot! What are you going to do?" "Don't worry, the sports department have got a special offer of climbing boots and icepicks." -- 19.0Kb

"Hang on to your gargoyles, then, because I'm comin' past." -- 15.9Kb

Brahms and Humphries help Mrs. Slocombe in through the men's room window. -- 17.1Kb

"Peacock! There was never anything between us! It was just a masquerade to try to save your marriage!" -- 18.0Kb

"Do you still love me?" -- 15.2kb

"What do you think I'm doing out here, you silly bitch?" -- 16.2Kb

51. Front Page Story

"Will there, uh, be anything else?" -- 19.9Kb

"I know, I know, I'm late--the delivery van had a puncture." -- 20.6Kb

"I've been at a perfectly normal party on a British ship." -- 19.0Kb

Things get out of hand while taking the cover photo. -- 22.3Kb

"Well, it's certainly informal." -- 27.2Kb

"Will young Mr. Spooner succeed in his endeavors to make Miss Brahms fall for his macho charm?" -- 15.2Kb

"Don't you think you're over-reacting?" -- 17.7Kb

"I'm putting my fingers in my ears." -- 16.1Kb

	"Mr. Humphries is too busy to listen to uninteresting bits of idle gossip from people who have nothing better to do than sit on their backsides all day, doing nothing! Who is that? Oh...Mr. Grace! Heh, heh, heh...do you know who this is, Mr. Grace? You don't? Good." -- 15.3Kb
	"That's torn it--it's going to be a walkover for novelty candles." "Whichever way you look at it, some other department's going to get the six hundred pounds. Unless...." -- 16.2Kb

"Oh, no! No!" -- 15.3Kb

"Nonsense! You were a sensation as Scarlett O'Hara in our production of 'Gone With the Wind.'" -- 17.3Kb

"No! Please, no! I shall call the police!" -- 16.2Kb

"Miss Ladies' Imminent Apparel." -- 19.8Kb

"Shut your cakehole." -- 17.1Kb

Miss "Do-It-Yourself." -- 19.3Kb

52. Sit Out

"...the service charge for my smilin' face." -- 16.7Kb

"This is very serious, Peacock." "It is indeed...you could get the sack." -- 17.1Kb

"Look out! Rumbold's comin' on the floor!" -- 21.0Kb

"Well, we've got to have a little hole instead of the lift doors, cover the floor with glue, and we'll end up with a store full of dead customers." -- 17.7Kb

"Why can't Mrs. Slocombe be a lady customer?" -- 18.0Kb

"Let's say we're a typical married couple...we know what we want but we don't know where to find it." -- 21.6Kb

"It must be magic being married to you." -- 17.9Kb

"Mr. Rumbold, should Captain Peacock's job become vacant..." -- 18.3Kb

"...I am not only ready, but willing." -- 18.3Kb

"Look, I'm not playin' if he's goin' on like this." -- 22.4Kb

"But it's nearly all storage--nobody goes down there!" -- 22.6Kb

"Pfffft." -- 19.8Kb

On the roof, Peacock and Humphries blockade the door. -- 17.4Kb

"Grace Brothers unfair to salespersons." -- 16.0Kb

"What about a paper dart? I used to make paper darts when I was a mixed infant. I once used one to propose to a little girl six desks away." -- 19.4Kb

"Mr. Humphries, that's not a paper dart--it's a paper hat!" -- 18.7Kb

"I found a pot of red paint." -- 16.7Kb

"What was that slogan again?" -- 20.6Kb

"I'm not going to hang myself!" -- 22.5Kb

"There hasn't been a martyr in my family for five hundred years!" -- 21.4Kb

Humphries drops in on Old Mr. Grace. -- 17.0Kb

"He didn't have time to talk to me." -- 14.2Kb

"That siren wasn't the law, it's the fire brigade!" -- 13.7Kb

Old friends meet.... "You!" "You!" "What happened to the Benedictine monastery?" -- 18.3Kb

53. Heir Apparent

"It's the only chance I'll ever get of paying that price for a fur coat." -- 18.0Kb

"You could pay another price." -- 16.7Kb

The early bird gets the worm.... -- 20.5kb

"I didn't want to be late for the sale." -- 22.6Kb

"I get carried away...I do." -- 21.6Kb

"Which coat was it, dear?" "This one." -- 21.2Kb

"May I thank you for the touching reception? I'm completely underwhelmed." --22.3Kb

	"Keep your voice down, please! I don't want the whole world to know that I'm accelerating down the road of life towards forty." "According to this form, you can see it clearly in the rear-view mirror." -- 18.0Kb
	"Knowledge of stock?" "Well, I know what I've got and I know what I'm short of. Sometimes, I'm short of what I wish I've got." -- 16.0Kb

"Did you ever meet your father?" -- 18.3Kb

"Yes, I'm afraid it's true." -- 17.8Kb

"Daddy!" -- 14.9Kb

"Mr. Grace-Humphries...I shall keep my maiden name." -- 17.6Kb

"The factory say they've put in extra-strong elastic at the back." -- 21.4Kb

"Ooh, ooh, now my leg's gone, too!" -- 19.1Kb

"May I say what a pleasure it is having your son on the floor." -- 22.8Kb

"What are you talking about? I've never met you before in my life." -- 17.3Kb

"You're relieved? So am I." -- 22.2Kb

"Mr. Grace is not my father? Well, what does that make me?" -- 24.8Kb

"Mr. Humphries! You can't wear an ankle-length fur coat in broad daylight!" -- 23.7Kb

54. Closed Circuit

"I think it's the silliest idea I've ever heard." -- 21.8Kb

"I think Mr. Humphries may have put his finger on it." -- 19.0Kb

"There must be somethin' wrong with your camera. I look all fat." -- 19.3Kb

"Oh! Look at my face! I should be in pictures!" -- 17.7Kb

"We've got to do something about those ridiculous ears." "He looks like a hang-glider." "I'd have said more like a wing-nut." -- 21.9Kb

"Mr. Spooner, cello tape, quick." -- 19.8Kb

Mr. Rumbold's new 'do. -- 15.7Kb

"And...go!" "You said 'cue' last time!" -- 24.7Kb

"Hello, shoppers. I know you'll be interested in all these fantastic special offers." -- 20.7Kb

"Can you dine with me tonight?" -- 17.8Kb

"You don't want to put him off. You want to appear unsullied." -- 18.0Kb

"Tell him you're in training to be a carmalite nun and Monday's practice night." -- 18.7Kb

"I'm certain that if we put our heads together, we can come up with a solution of some sort." -- 17.9Kb

"Here, you're not havin' that! That's ten pounds a throw!" -- 23.2Kb

"It's not Mr. Humphries, is it?" "I'm afraid it is." -- 21.5Kb

"Ah! Monsignor!" -- 20.4Kb

"You drink as little as possible." -- 21.6Kb

"Oh, it's Mr. Grace!" "Get up, get up!" -- 21.3Kb

"I'm just taking a confession--won't be long." -- 16.6kb

"You can't stay like that all night." "Well, get rid of the candles." --18.9Kb

"Egg and chips four times and a pot of tea." -- 22.9Kb

55. The Erotic Dreams of Mrs. Slocombe

"You're not drinking at this time of the morning!" -- 18.1Kb

"I only have to give her the slightest hint of a smile, and she goes all wobbly at the knees--watch this." -- 18.5Kb

"What sort of personality does the gentleman have?" "Suede." -- 15.4Kb

"Now that is a beautiful glove. Just feel it, Mrs. Slocombe." -- 21.6Kb

"What coloring does the gentleman have?" "Well...fair, wavy hair, startling blue eyes, and a strong, sensitive chin." "I wonder why she didn't mention the gap in the teeth?" -- 17.4Kb

"The salesgirl said that as soon as I put it on, the years seemed to just drift away." -- 20.7Kb